


i’ll be seeing you

by kamwashere



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Deserved Better, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Peggy Carter deserves better, Steve Rogers deserved better, a smidge of angst, and most of all, just a smidge, marvel fucked and im fixing it dw guys, this fic is a FUCK YOU to the russos, xoxo bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 14:23:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19152835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kamwashere/pseuds/kamwashere
Summary: 'Do you remember the morning after Barnes died?'Steve was silent, the rhythmic thump in his chest almost deafening. He nods for Peggy to continue.'You held a search party right away, at first light. You were out there all day, in the freezing Alps but you never wavered, you never showed any signs of slowing down. Your troop almost passed out in the cold but you didn't care, you just wanted to find him.' Peggy holds his hand, fingers interlacing. 'That's when I realized that you would follow him through hell and back, and he would do the same. I realized that he was yours, and you were his, before you were mine.'-A fix it fic for Avengers: Endgame.





	i’ll be seeing you

‘Don’t do anything stupid ‘till I get back,’ Steve admonishes, voice soft. He observed Bucky levelly, he looks… at peace. His eyes no longer hold the intensity as it had ever since their fateful encounter on the bridge. There are still underlying heaviness that sags in his chest. Steve knows that he tries, every day to live by what HYDRA has done to him, what he thinks he did. If he could carry an inkling of what Bucky was burdened of, then maybe he could help…

He shakes his head. He’s Bucky Barnes; Steve is positive that he can handle everything. He’s never doubted that.

Bucky throws him a gentle smile, eyes crinkling at the side. His voice is low when he speaks, ‘How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.’

Steve grins in the familiarity, chest feeling lighter than it has for God, _years._ Everything feels right in the world again. The way it was supposed to be. He steps closer to the man, wrapping his arms around his broad chest and rests his palms at the spread of Bucky’s back. Closing his eyes, Steve takes a shuddering breath and exhale the breath he’s been holding on for five years.

Bucky places his left arm on his shoulders, the fingers from his metal arm gripping tightly at Steve’s shirt. His heart tightens at the gesture, unsure if Bucky’s aware he's doing this. ‘I'm gonna miss you, buddy.’ He feels Bucky holds onto him tighter. Steve’s breath stutters at that.

He doesn't answer until he feels Bucky lets go of the hug and he looks him in the eyes. His eyes look wary, but there was a glint of spark hidden beneath the hues of blue and green. He knows what Steve’s doing, of course he does. No one in the universe knows him better than Bucky Barnes.

‘It’s gonna be okay, Buck.’

Bucky just gives him a wry smile, like he knows something Steve doesn't.

* * *

 

Steve materialises inside of a room of records. Stacks of papers fill the seemingly never-ending rows of shelves, filled with important-looking folders and equipments varying from miniscule to gigantic. The room stretches far beyond, and Steve knows you can get lost easily in the labyrinth of a storage room.

He jerks his head around, nerves still yet to settle and his chest thumping a couple of beats per second. He will _never_ get used to that… travelling into the quantum realm thing. Suddenly, his entire body seems to be alert as he scans for any probable threats or hostiles (hopefully not.) Satisfied with his observations, he continues to check the surroundings. He walks around warily, looking for any indicators for a storage of some sort for the Tesseract. Surely, there must be a special spot where they keep an alien object, right? If Tony was here, he'd know it by now.

God, _Tony_. Steve still doesn't believe it. After meeting the eccentric man, he doesn't think he’ll ever get used to a life without him in it. Tony was one of his closest friend and confidant; he was more than a teammate, he's family. Still, he died honorably. He saved millions, heck, probably billions of life. The universe owe it all to Tony Stark, Earth's Best Defender.

He closes his eyes, and can almost hear the echoes of Tony’s quips. Steve smiles sadly at the thought, before shaking his head.

He notices an open briefcase, with a rectangle mold. He narrows his eyes at it, and looks at the remaining Infinity Stone. The last one, the Space Stone rests easily inside the case he brought with him, humming with power. Gingerly, he lifts it up and places it inside said briefcase. Steve makes a non-committal noise. His mission is done.

There is a sound of a pen dropping, making Steve jump slightly. He looks straight ahead. ‘You're alive.’

Steve takes a sharp intake of breath. ‘Peggy.’

Peggy Carter stands in front of him, in all her glory. She's wearing a red dress, hugging every curve of her body. She is just how Steve remembers her, hair pulled into a stylish bun and her bangs in a perfect curl, not a wisp of hair out. And of course, her lips deep red and forming an ‘o’ Her warm brown eyes is startled and disbelieving.

‘Steve,’ She whispers, walking slowly toward him. Steve gives her a watery smile, his eyes scanning every part of her face. God, she's actually here. Shakily, she reaches out her hand to touch his face and Steve immediately leans into it, eyes fluttering closed.. _‘Steve_.’

Steve places his palm on the hand tenderly holding his cheek and leans in until their foreheads are touching. Peggy’s eyes are closed, tears rolling on her smooth cheeks. Steve wipes some of them, whispering ‘Hey, it's okay.’

‘I thought you were dead, you arsehole. How–?’

‘I’ll explain later, um,’ he hesitates. ‘Can we go somewhere–’

‘Of course,’ She pulls away and daintily wipes her tears away. ‘Let's go.’

* * *

 

They arrive at a convent of some kind, and the people ogle at him when he arrived. Peggy seems fazed by the whispers and giggles the women are throwing his way. Steve ducks his head, cheeks flushing as they take a seat in a booth. His eyes scan the peach-coloured walls and brownstone flooring, and noticed that he seems to be the only man in the lobby. His blush deepens profoundly. ‘Where are we, exactly?’

Peggy throws him a half-amused and half-fond smirk. ‘Just where I'm staying at, at the moment.’

‘Right,’ Steve says, a little miffed by the vague response.

Peggy’s eyes glosses over again, and she stares at him for a few moments before speaking. ‘So, how did you survive?’

Steve heaves a deep sigh. ‘I’m not really… I’m from the future, Peg.’

Peggy stares at him blankly. ‘You’re…’

‘The serum; it worked better than we thought possible.’ Steve goes into a long monologue, pausing every now and then to gauge Peggy’s reaction, which is unwavering; just a blank, intent look, mouth pressed and eyes narrowed. Regal. _Beautiful_. 'And, God, I mentioned that Bucky is alive, right? He was being tortured by HYDRA.'

Peggy looks at him sharply. 'That's not possible. We destroyed every HYDRA base known out there. I was there myself.'

'Cut off one head–'

'–and two more shall take its place. Of course, how could I be so stupid?'

Peggy was quiet, looking at the window, brows furrowed. Steve doesn’t mind, he takes all the time to take in what he’s seeing. God, he’s really here, and Peggy’s _there_. Peggy looks back at him, the sky is dim and the light of a car passes. Steve hadn’t noticed how much time had passed. ‘Won’t this muck up our timeline? Seeing as you don't–' Peggy clears her throat, and she looks away, the gleam of outside framing her face. 'How does this work exactly?'

'I could stay here as long as possible and they would never know. It'll be like a second passing over for them.'

Peggy hums, her face pensieve. She looks at Steve, and a soft smile breaking out of her face.

'Didn't you owe a dance, soldier?'

Steve grins.

* * *

 

They danced until their feet ached. Steve feels like he could die a happy man.

* * *

 

  


_Two Months Later_

 

Steve is sitting on Peggy's chair, clutching at Bucky's small portrait, fidgeting with it. The portrait was from almost ninety, no, in this time, it was only God, twenty years ago. He looks so young, and boyish– he was wearing one of Steve's dress shirts, which fit him awfully. But he still looked handsome. Timeless. Apparently SSR kept everything that Steve owned after he was presumed dead, including some portraits and letters he never got to send.

He's slowly getting used to this time––again––and Peggy has been such a huge help. They had moved into a small house in the streets of Montague back in Brooklyn. Steve missed this, the smell of his hometown, of the noise of kids playing outside. Yet, it feels different, somehow. Like something was amiss. Like, like, something like–

'Steve? I thought you'd–' Peggy stops as soon as he sees Steve. 'Oh, Steve.' He looks up and throws her a questioning look, pocket the piece of paper with Bucky's face in it.

Peggy sits in front of him and cradles his face gingerly, her hands soft and delicate. Steve melts instantly and leans in to her touch, eyes closing. He sighs as she wipes the tears rolling down his cheek, and huh, tears…?

He hadn't known he was crying.

 

'Tell me what's wrong.'

'Nothing, Pegs.'

'Don't lie to me, Steve.'

That was not a lie. Because the truth is.

The truth is; Steve doesn't know what's wrong. He's got what he wanted. But why. WHY does it feel so wrong–

'It's about Barnes, isn't it.'

There.

'I just can't stand the thought of HYDRA torturing him, Pegs. I should be doing something. Anything.'

Peggy stares at him. 'That's not all, isn't it? You miss him.'

'Of course I do, I miss all of them–'

'Do you remember the morning after Barnes died?'

Steve was silent, the rhythmic thump in his chest almost deafening. He nods for Peggy to continue. She stops holding his face.

'You held a search party right away, at first light. You were out there all day, in the freezing Alps but you never wavered, you never showed any signs of slowing down. Your troop almost passed out in the cold but you didn't care, you just wanted to find him.' Peggy holds his hand, fingers interlacing. 'That's when I realized that you would follow him through hell and back, and he would do the same. I realized that he was yours, and you were his, before you were mine. If you were ever mine.'

'Peggy, I–' He struggles for words. 'Peggy, I'm sorry for _God_ , lying to you all this time–'

She broke into tears at that, tightening her grip on Steve's hand. 'Oh darling, don't be sorry for that. I love you with all my soul, I always will. I'm glad you found great love after–' She heaves a deep sigh and looks straight to him. 'I'm afraid I haven't been truthful to you as well.'

'Peggy?'

'When I found you again, I…' She pauses. 'I didn't want to believe it. I still wanted to believe that you were dead. You see, the Steve I knew died years ago. I moved past then. Don't get me wrong, I love you still. But you are a stranger to me, Steve.' She looks at him sadly, her lower lip shaking.  'You have lived a life I did not know about, left people you clearly care about. I may love you, but I do not want to compete with that.' She kissed his cheek lovingly. 'I think I deserve better than that.'

They sat in contemplation, the sound of Billie Holiday crooning in the background filling the silence between the two of them. Steve looks at the window, he knows he'll be missing the sight.

But he misses his home more.

* * *

 

Bucky doesn't stop staring at the spot from where Steve is standing, hands clutching the most powerful objects in the universe. He wills the tears away as he stuffs his hands into his pockets. This is the last time he will ever see Steve. Steve faces him and gives him a crooked smile, and Bucky returns this with

His bright blue eyes; the ones he call home, the slight turn of his mouth, that smile Steve always reserves just for him, the mole on his right cheek that Bucky’s longed to kiss since he was sixteen.

Bucky sucks in a breath, opening his eyes and gripping the inside of his pants. What if he forgets again? He can't go through this again–

‘Hey man,’ Sam claps him on the back, hands staying there. Bucky figures that it's meant to be consoling. Sam doesn't know what he knows.

‘How long is he gone for?’ Sam asks as soon as Steve ceased to be visible in a matter of seconds.

‘However long he needs but for us, about five seconds,” Bruce Banner explains, his eyes focused on the contraption in front of him. He pushes up his glasses. “Back in five, four, three, two, and one.” Nothing happens. Bucky was right.

Goodbye, Steve.

He tears his eyes away from the spot Steve disappeared to and turns away, it doesn't stop the ache in his chest though. But as he turns away, he is meet by the sight of…

‘Steve?’ He whispers, his voice is so quiet, he isn't sure he heard him.

There he was. He looks exactly the same, wearing the same punk ass smile. His eyes are a clear blue, crinkling with what can be described as joy.

‘Hey, Buck.’

‘What…’ He starts but was interrupted by Sam striding over to Steve, giving him a one-armed hug. ‘What took you so long?’

Steve tears his gaze from Bucky and gives Sam a tight-lipped smile. Bucky feels lost. ‘Just had some catching up to do.’

Sam narrows his eyes. Steve rolls his eyes, smiling. ‘Can you give us a second?’ He turns his eyes back to Bucky, eyes shining. Bucky stays rooted on where he was standing. Sam looks at him and at Bucky and nods in understanding. He walks away, not after giving Bucky a knowing yet confused look before tugging Banner away from his equipment. They are truly alone.

'I thought you were gonna stay,' Bucky pauses. 'With her. What happened?'

Steve just shrugs, the fucking _punk_. 'Things happened. We both decided it was for the best.'

Bucky stares at him, dumbfounded. 'What.'

'I just fulfilled a promise, that's all, returned the stones and went back.'

'You goddamned idiot,' Bucky seethes, making Steve blink at surprise. 'You just left like _that_? She's the love of your life, you dumbass, you will never find another one of her around! She's the love of your life!' He insisted.

'I thought she was,' Steve says, stepping closer to the man. 'But you were, _are_ the love of my life, Buck.' He pauses before chuckling, looking down in embarrassment. 'That's so corny.'

Bucky exhales loudly. 'What.' He repeats.

Steve suddenly turned serious, his eyes locking into his with the determination of three hundred men. 'Bucky, whenever you're gone, whenever I don't see you, I feel like you take something in me with you.' Steve brushes a stray hair out of Bucky's eyes, who's still looking at him blankly. 'I've lost you so many times, and I don't ever want to make you feel like you've lost me too.'

'But,' Bucky whispers, his eyes half-closed. 'Peggy.'

'I think she knew before I did,' Steve chuckles. He smiles, leaning his forehead against Bucky's and sighing in relief. 'Bucky, please, you have to know this by now. I will follow you everywhere. I always come back for you. I love you.'

Bucky looks at him sharply. 'Say that again.'

Steve doesn't ever want to look at anything but Bucky ever again.'I love you, Bucky. God, I'm in love with you. I love you, I love you so badly.'

Tears pool in Bucky's eyes, smiling wider than Steve has ever seen him. 'I love you too, ya punk.'

Steve laughs wetly. 'God, we're such idiots for only figuring this by now.'

Bucky scoffs, 'Speak for yourself,' He plants a soft kiss on Steve's forehead, eyelashes, the long of his nose, his cheek–every inch of skin on his face–then finally, _finally_ , he kisses Steve on the mouth, long and with promises of more in the future. He looks at Steve, eyes twinkling. 'I've been in love with you since I was sixteen.'

* * *

 

> _"I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me." –_ _Madelline Miller_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Billie Holiday's song of the same name.
> 
> –
> 
> It's been months and I'm still not over Endgame. Fuck you Russo brothers. This has been sitting idly in my drafts since April and I've only had the motivation to write it TODAY. So as soon as I finished it I posted that shit right away. Hope you liked this guys!
> 
> –
> 
> come scream about stucky with me on [tumblr!](https://kamwashere.tumblr.com)


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